Super College DayZ
by Lt. Wyoming
Summary: The SSMB gang are seniors in college and things are getting pretty crazy. Link tells it through his eyes as his friends just try to survive one more year. Rated M for sexual content, drugs and violence. R&R! Ch. 4 up!
1. Want some chocolates?

Super College Dayz

AN: Hey just decided I'd make this little story. Characters may be a little OC learn to deal with it. Rated M for: Sexual content, Drugs, language, Some violence and crude humor. Please review. I love reviews. Mmmmm….reviews…I don't own Super Smash brothers. I also don't own any products, movies or books made fun of in this story. _Italicized means it's Link narrating. Don't forget that now. _

Link sat a bus stop in white suit black slacks and busted up tennis shoes. A feather softly landed next to his foot. He picked it up and examined it, and then he put it in his Curios George In the Hood book. A black woman in her late thirties sat next to him at the bench. She seemed occupied with her magazine Link pulled out a box of chocolates.

"Want some chocolates?" asked Link nicely. "Oh yes, I love chocolate." Replied the woman holding out her hand. Link yanked back the box and ate all the chocolates quickly. "Well too bad, there all mine!" laughed Link maliciously. Link looked down at her shoes. "Those must be real comfortable shoes…I want em!" Link yanked off the poor lady's red high heels and ran away onto the college campus.

_Hi my name is Link and this is a story about my friends and me. We were all seniors going to the University of New Hampshire. And as you all well know when you're a senior crazy stuff happens!_

Later at night on the balcony of a frat house DK pushed a beer keg off the balcony onto unsuspecting victims. "Take that Mother Fers!" yelled DK while flipping the bird.

_That's DK he's one crazy dude all he does is drink and man does he drink. That's why I idolize him, I mean it's pretty impressive to be able to drink a whole barrel of vodka without even getting tipsy!_

In the frat house people are smoking pot. Link walks in drinking a beer can. Fox greets him. Fox has a beer mug in hand. "Well how do you do Link? Ready for exams?" asked Fox. "Oh, exams! I totally forgot! That's okay my teacher is Ms. Redfield. I can persuade her to give me a B." explained Link.

_This is Fox one of my closest friends. His claim to fame is that he had sex with Samus, Peach, Ms. Redfield, and Zelda all in one morning. He's also the only guy in our group of friends who hasn't gotten in trouble with the law at least once._

Suddenly Popo rushes in and starts screaming. "Someone tipped off the fuzz! There coming here!" Popo ran into a wall, he was obviously high and didn't know what to do. However else did running for their college lives jumping off balconies and stuff.

_Nana and Popo were just kind of there nobody particularly cared about them. We knew that there was only one person dirty enough to tip off the cops about our party. That was Ness. He was a brat and would tell people anything for some cash. I jumped off a balcony to save myself from spending the night in jail._

The cops burst in and everyone could hear Popo being carried away. "No! Please don't call my mommy! She'll kill me! Meanies!" whined Popo as he was stuffed into a police car. Fox shook his head. "Idiot." Then sipped from his beer mug.

We swam out of the pool then ran to our dorms where it would be safe. In my dorm were Marth and Roy. "Hey guys! Got any towels?" I asked. "Sure." Marth handed Link a towel.

_Mart and Roy are complex people. Silent but deadly. They always stay and study rarely going out to parties. I can call them friends but were not huge buddies._

I noticed a leg sticking out from underneath the bunk bed. "Whose that?" I asked. Roy sighed. "Peach you can come out now." Said Roy. Peach crawled out from under the bed. "Hi." She whispered bare naked covering her breasts with her hands. There was suddenly a knock at the door. "Bowser! Hall patrol!" stated Bowser. Peach ran and hid in the bathroom.

_Crap! It was Bowser! Bowser used to be cool but then he joined hall patrol ever since then he's become a control freak. Ruining lives, relationships and independence. If you were caught doing anything remotely bad you were sure the D.A. would here about it in a week._

"Coming." Link replied. "Shiznit! What do we do? If he sees Peach were done for!" whispered Marth. Bowser burst in. "Okay I have had reports of girls moaning sounds coming from this room! Confess or the punishment will be more severe!" snapped Bowser. Peach came out now in lingerie. Bowser stood there mouth agape and drooling.

"Bowser! You can't tell please I'm begging you!…Besides a handsome dinosaur like you wouldn't rat on a pretty girl like me…would you?" winked Peach. Bowser grinned. However Bowser quickly changed his expression. "Yeah right do you think I'm that gullible? First thing tomorrow I'm telling the D.A. and you can stop me!" laughed Bowser as he ran out of the dorm room scribbling something on his clipboard.

"Great! Once my parents find out they'll transfer me to some loser school closer to home like the University of Koopas!" shivered Peach. "Don't worry I have a cool cat who can help us get out of this." Said Link pulling out a cell phone.

_I called my friend Mewtwo he could help us get out of this scenario. We went way back to middle school always causing trouble and always fighting over which movie was better. If everything worked out I could get some love form Peach!_

AN: Next chapter to come soon. But not until I get some reviews.


	2. Just Like in Die Hard

Just Like in Die Hard

AN: Here is Chapter Two of Super College Dayz enjoy. I don't own SSMB or Die Hard. R&R.

Link got in his car and drove to Mewtwo's penthouse. When Link entered the penthouse he gawked at the expensive paintings and furniture. Not to mention the entertainment system with advanced equipment he's never seen before.

_When I walked into Mewtwo's office he sat there smoking a large Cuban cigar with a stylish business suit on and a 1940's style cap. He looked at me murmuring something to Luigi._

Luigi began to speak. "Mr. Mewtwo apologizes sir. He has a sore throat from all the smoke he's inhaled and I will speak for him. He will slap me if I say something he doesn't agree with. Understand?"

_I nodded my head. Luigi and Mewtwo were both tough cookies. They could tear a man to pieces just by staring at him._

"Mewtwo I need some equipment to sneak into the Dorm Administrators office tonight."

"He knows, he can read minds."

"So can you give them to me."

"Yes, right away!"

Mewtwo suddenly slapped Luigi hard. "For a price." Luigi corrected. Link cocked an eyebrow. "What kind of price?" "You take five boxes to Pikachu don't open the crates don't do anything with them. Just give the crates to Pikachu at 912 Lakewood Drive. You don't do this and you'll get a nasty call from us!"

Mewtwo glared at Luigi and then slapped him into a wall hard. Luigi pulled his face out of the wall and sighed. "Or Mr. Link you'll get a nine millimeter to the head." Luigi then fainted. Mewtwo looked at me then signaled for me to leave. I obeyed.

_Later that night I was above the sunroof of the D.A.'s office. I cut a hole in the glass then used a rope and pulley system to lower myself down to the desk. I searched frantically through the desk looking for the note, then I checked the mailbox but there was nothing. I scratched my head in wonder._

Suddenly Bowser burst through with three ninjas at his side. "Hello Link!" roared Bowser. Link spun around to see Bowser. "Bowser!" "I knew you'd come and I'm ready now to destroy you, I never even sent the letter. It was all a trap to get you six feet under, now kill Link!" Bowser pointed to me as the Ninjas charged.

_I kicked one Ninja in the groin and easy task and he was soon and the ground holding his balls and crying. Then another ninja came jabbing knives at me I dodged the knives then poked him in the yes. He let out a high pitched scream and back flipped onto the ground to wither in pain. The next ninja was more formidable her kicked me in the stomach then pushed me against the desk. I pulled out a ball point pin and stabbed him in the eye. "Just like in Die Hard Byotch!" The ninjas were now all defeated and Bowser ran away. Though I was happy Bowser was defeated I knew now I'd have to go and find Pikachu._

_I arrived at Lakewood Drive around midnight and saw Pikachu smoking weed waiting for the crates. I handed him the crates and he loaded them but a loud noise was heard and sirens._

"Oh crap! The fuzz! Y-You must've led them here!" stammered Pikachu. "N-No, I didn't!…Bowser! He did this!" sighed Link. "If the DEA find these crates do you know how much trouble we'll be in?" Cop cars pulled up and a captured Pikachu in a pokeball. Pikachu cursed and screamed as he was imprisoned from afar. Link darted away into the bushes. A Cop signaled off his patrol. "Let him go, we got what we came for." The cops laughed evilly some happily as the walked away.

AN: Don't do drugs like Pikachu. Pikachu…My anti-drug. So what did you think? R&R Next chapter coming soon.


	3. Ms Redfield are you trying to seduce me

Ms. Refield are you trying to seduce me?

AN: Sorry I haven't written in so long I've been entering a lot of writing contests and so the creative side of my brain has just been drained but anyway I'm here now and let's begin this very short chapter. I don't own Playboy or Super Smash Brothers.

_What was I going to do? I had just gotten Pikachu arrested on drug charges! When I finally made it back on campus I immediately started to run towards my dorm but while doing so I bumped into Ms. Redfield. Ms. Refield was the incredibly hot professor she taught business but based on Fox she had climbed to the top with loans she never had to pay back. _

"Oh, Ms. Redfield sorry I didn't mean to bump into you like that." I apologized. "That's okay Link, why were you running so fast anyway?" she asked while brushing off her mini-skirt. I explained the entire story. Ms. Redfield looked very angry her face growing tomato red. "What you idiot Pikachu gives me my crack in exchange for blow jobs!" spat Ms. Redfield.

_Ms. Refield then went into a tirade of how she was going to rat me out to the police, I couldn't let this happen so I tried to persuade her. When this didn't work I decided that blackmail was the only appropriate option._

"Well what about you? Don't act like don't have anything on you!" I countered. Ms. Redfield looked at me puzzled so I decided to clue her in. "You had sex with Fox a student, do crack so I know it's in your system, you really don't have a teaching certificate and you posed in playboy under the name Candy Summers!" Ms. Redfield looked at me for a long time then quickly crouched down and started to massage my groin area.

_A lot happened in that hour stuff I will not go over in great detail, let's just say Ms. Refield made me a very happy man. When I arrived back at my dorm Marth was watching his favorite movie Super Goose Saves Christmas I stuck out my tongue in disgust and went to take a shower. The next day I walked into the hallway only to see a good 15 men in black suits searching the campus, I decided to approach one._

"What's going on here sir?" I asked while looking around. "Well you see we received a tip from a local member of the mafia that illegal drugs were on campus. Yes it's a member of the mafia but he's so well respected in the art of crime we decided to follow his lead. We've already arrested troublemaker Pichu who was handing out non-sterilized needles and cough syrup."

"Cough syrup what's so bad with that?"

"Shut up imbecile you don't know anything about drugs!"

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"Stop it! I hate you and now I'm going to go home and touch myself!"

As the agent walked away I devised a plan to escape Mewtwo's mafia grip, I'd have to resolve this conflict somehow. Just then Bowser accompanied by four agents pointed me out "There he is! That's the guy who bought that 50 pound block of uncut cocaine you found in my duffel bag!" he barked. Running down the hall I thought of who could help me out of this and the answer was Dr. Mario!"

AN: Okay real short chapter I know give me a break I'll update soon.


	4. Straight to Video

Straight to Video

AN: Sorry it's been so long since I've updated I've had a ton to do, but now I'm finally finished and I have the chapter right here as always read and review I don't own any of the characters or products you read about.

_I finally reached Dr. Mario's house I entered without knocking because I'm rather rude and the door was unlocked. If anybody has played my popular RPG games they know that I'll walk into a person's home unannounced and take a few items for the road. To be fair to myself however all the greats do it. They just walk into a person's home without saying anything and take their possessions, the people never stop you either they smile happily and then even give you tips on how to complete a mission. After all I'm Link people would kill their grandmothers for me._

Dr. Mario sat on his couch unaware of my presence jacking off to some x-rated porn video. It was an erotic sequel to Tomb Raider since nobody went to go see the movie for the plot it was only obvious that an erotic sequel would be made where Tomb Raider would end of raiding somebody's bed.

Dr. Mario was stunned when I greeted him; quickly tossing away the lotion he began to sound professional with the video still in the background. "What are you watching?" I asked. "Just a little Tomb Raider, I'm an action movie fan."

"Uh-huh."

"Please don't tell anybody I'm so embarrassed."

"It's okay everybody does it."

"No, actually Ness doesn't know how."

_I was puzzled on how Ness couldn't know how to pleasure himself but I shrugged it off and then explained to Dr. Mario the entire situation; something I was really getting tired of doing and it's only the fourth chapter._

"What do you need me for?" he asked rubbing his chin. "You are the town doctor lie to the cops and say I have a severe illness in which I need to illegal drugs to survive. I also need you to lie and say Pikachu is sick so you can operate on him and kill him during surgery."

"Simple enough, anything for a friend and I hate Pikachu like everyone else with half a brain to use."

"Brilliant! When can you do it?"

"First thing tomorrow morning. You can crash at my place until the heat stops looking for you."

_I slept uncomfortably as I thought about what could happen while I was absent from college worst of all I was going to miss one of my classes. After finally falling sleep I woke up to an empty house I frantically looked around the TV was playing the movie Tarzan II another straight to video release. I made some waffles and watched the news as suddenly I realized something horrible!_

"Hello I'm Trisha Henderson we are here liver outside the house of Dr. Mario who says he has in his home a suspect in a local campus drug raid. He is armed with a sword and considered extremely dangerous. Police are about to charge into the house as I speak!"

_The bitch Dr. Mario had sold me out! He was going to get me arrested! I had to think fast so I just started running. That's right I ran! I ran; to the end of the driveway, I ran all the way to the end of the block then the S.W.A.T. team dog piled me and I was arrested._

"We've got you now and you're little fairy too!" chuckled one officer as he held up in a bottle Naivi. Naivi screamed and flew around in the container cussing out the cops. "You bastards will never keep me down…fairy power!"

_What was I going to do now I was trapped in a very sticky situation; mildly speaking. I just sighed deeply as the car drove down the long road to the pedantry, I didn't know the unexpected was about to happen, mainly because I wasn't expecting it._

AN: Well that's it for this chapter, stick around more to come!


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